LUMBARing On With Back Pain in Yoga 😵‍💫

I know some of you have been on the edge of your seats regarding my ongoing back pain struggle and my anticipated return to “the mat”, so here is the latest update.

On Thursday night, I went to Laura’s class, which made it two classes in one week and, for me, that is unheard of 🤯. I do some yoga every day, but I haven’t done two proper classes in a week since the Woking days, back when I was younger, had more hair and possessed a little more oomph. Same people skills though 😵‍💫.

I simply haven’t had the confidence in my body that it won’t break down again under the demands of a full class, but I gave it a go and was really looking forward to it. My glass back hadn’t felt this good in a while, so what could possibly go wrong? And for those of you who haven't heard (which is no one I know). My car accident is now 30 years ago 🫨🚗🚑

As it turns out, I survived only 80% of the class .

I felt my back "go" quite early on, but I thought I would be okay, and then towards the end I knew it was time to leave because I know my body well enough now to recognise when it is giving me a warning and when it is preparing to lock down.

My ego wanted to namas-stay, but my back was telling me it was time go 🫣. It felt awful.

I didn’t want to leave and part of me wanted to push through, but eventually I listened to my inner verte-bro, who told me to get out while I could still walk.

I went upstairs to my PT room and walked up and down for ten minutes or so until my back loosened. Even walking up the stairs helped because movement almost “unsticks” my SI joint, which is where the sacrum at the base of the spine meets the larger, wing-shaped bones of the pelvis.

So, I didn’t complete the class. I actually tapped out 😰🤮

However, rather than feeling deflated in both ego and pride, I actually felt pretty good because some time ago, managing “only” 80% of Laura’s class would have killed me and disheartened me so much that I probably wouldn’t have gone back again.

This time my mindset was different, and I was actually pretty chuffed with myself for doing 80% because that is more than I managed the week before, and thinking about it that way has left me looking forward to my next class.

My return to yoga might not be going completely to plan, but I am lumbaring on with a smile. I know I know. I said smile. I'm always smiling on the inside 😁

And what is behind this change in mindset? 🧐🧠 I think it is dad life.

I am constantly trying to help Zaccy navigate life and understand what it is all about. He cries when I whoop his butt at computer games because he is fiercely competitive, and he gets his emotional side from his mother 😆.

The other day, he was sad because he could do “only” five kick-ups with an adult-sized football ⚽️, and I said, “Bru, you’re six! That’s five more than I could do when I was your age.”

He is already light-years ahead of most of the children he plays with athletically, which he also gets from his mother 👀, so I told him, “Rather than beating yourself up, mate, look how far you’ve come.” He looked at me with those teary eyes and gave me one of those hugs I receive only when he is totes emosh 😭

Ye Ye I know. He gets his looks from his mother too 😏

Then, when things go badly for me (and thats all the time), I try to remember the words I use to help him because I want to be an example for my son and not be the guy who says all the right things but loses heart himself.

I told him that life will find unique and flabbergastingly creative ways to challenge you as you grow, but whatever happens, don’t lose heart ❤️. I could see he was humming his favourite song in his head and didn't listen to a word I said 😵‍💫.

And thanks to my Zaccy, I’m not losing heart either 🫶🏽

So, for the 0.5% of you reading this who are concerned about my welfare and wonder what is more fragile, my ego or my lower back, rest easy as I’m doing well. 😊

And so are you 🫵🏽

Even if you are not quite where you want to be yet, take a moment to recognise how far you have come because sometimes progress is not about completing the whole class 🐌, it is about knowing when to pause and still having the courage to come back.

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Namaskar - Eternal Seeker

Zahir Akram

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